The Cane

I was in Yishun neighbourhood ('old school neighbourhood') when I saw one of the most historical mechanisms for disciplining a child (or even a dog) - the CANE.

A thought flashed in my mind, invoking a disbelief that there are adults who believe "Spare the rod; spoil the child"....

I just cannot accept the above statement whenever an adult believe that it is necessary to cane a child be it mildly or wildly lashing it out on the child. I always believe that the adult who states the above statement as being total incompetent; one who has their own expectation(s); one who has unresolved issues and/or being lazy to rationale with a child whenever they use the rod.

It could as simple as the child saying:" I do not want to eat the peas" The adult feels their cooking is not being appreciated...LASH! "I want to buy Wii" The adult remembers that the child did not perform well in their Mathematics....SLAP!!! Then the adult would expect the child to internalise the adult's message; learn to accept the punishment; to 'automatically' do what the adult wants the child to do in future and to identify who's the BOSS. This would probably save them the effort of rationalising with the child or for the adult to notice their own faults that maybe their peas do suck after all.

To nuture a child is a huge Life project. It is dealing with a human being who has their own behaviourals that often differ from the adult's own expectations. And of course, it is without doubt, exhausting when nuturing a child and disappointing when one's child does not sit by the table to finish their meals or does not score direct As for their examinations. It is even more difficult when adults have to take on the responsibilities and duties of parenting when they are already usually physically and emotionally taxed after a long lousy day at work.

But it is not an excuse to bring home all the shits that the adult faces in the society on the child. Children have their own worlds too. They do not mean to 'lie', to be 'lazy' or to be 'stupid'. The child is young, developing to understand the world that we, adults, have lived long in and we, the adults, who have formed the 'worlds' from our own ideas/ expectations on them. Probably, the child might lie or lose interest in their studies in future. Then, have the adult's actions on the child resulted in such behaviourals in the first place?


Probably, I am not a father (yet... until my wife grants me the work permit); hence I am unable to fully comprehend the tedious efforts of being a parent. Even so, I really do not see how physical punishment would help the child in the long run? Physical punishment takes away the child's ability to rationalise and could result in them to 'behave' for the fear of being hit again. To physically punish the child also means that the adult is no longer nuturing a child, rather the adult is teaching the child to hit others when their expectations are not being met.

Really, there is no research in this society, which constantly for seek evidence-based practices, that caning does help to nuture a child. One thing I am pretty sure though is that caning is an action by the adult to help cope with their own inadequacies.

C'mon adults... do not buy the canes I saw at the Yishun neighbourhood... Give the child a break... the child has the potential (maybe not the next President or billionaire) but for sure the child has the potential to create something good to this world. Go on, attend some parenting courses; talk to someone about your shitty day or work out how the child's and your own expectations can happen together somehow or the other. These are not wussy actions; hitting the child is. Please, there are so much an adult-child relationship can nuture into and to benefit the child ... not the cane.